"Be Still and Know that I am God"

I have went back-and-forth on whether or not to write about the below information and have finally decided to post a brief paragraph on what happened to our family last November.

Since I last posted, my family was hit with horrible news. On November 8th, Tim and I went to the ob/gyn to find out the gender of our expected baby, I was 15-weeks pregnant. Unfortunately what we found out was that the baby no longer had a heartbeat. I had a D&C on November 11th and have really struggled with this loss since that date. Every day gets better, but for me personally I still occasionally get blindsided with emotion over this loss. I am no longer angry, but I am still sad. Besides the actual loss, the thing that hurts the most is how the medical community refers to a D&C as an abortion. To try to stomach that I somehow had a choice in this matter is extremely difficult for me. However, what I have chosen is to remain strong in my faith and to try to live by the mantra “Be Still and Know that I am God”. I know that there is a miraculous plan that I do not understand and has not been revealed to me. I also look forward to one day meeting the child I lost at heaven’s gate.