After we lost the baby in November 2010, it took me a few weeks to even recognize myself again. When I finally started to feel again, Tim and I discussed what we were going to do about completing our family. You see, just because a loss strikes does not mean your dreams of completing your family die as well. No one really seemed to get this – except those who have miscarried or lost a child. We first talked about adoption. In fact I was pushing in that direction because I did not want to risk the pain of losing again. I tried to force myself into a place of being content with adoption being our answer, which simply did not work. While the pre-approval was easy, there was a voice inside me that told me to have faith in myself. That the road to adoption, while admirable and remarkable for people who take it, was not the road I needed to take at this time. I was asked to have faith.
In mid-December 2010 I walked into the doors of Tulsa Fertility Center. Wow, what a weird, humbling moment. I felt a little out of place as I have been blessed with 2 healthy, wonderful boys – why did I need to be seen at a fertility center? What I needed from TFC was two things - first, I needed to know why we lost; and second I needed to know if carrying our own baby was even a possibility anymore. After a few procedures and lots of blood work I was told our reason for loss was plain and simple bad luck. Well, thanks for that double-shot of honesty. There were some other tests that needed to be ran when/if I got pregnant, but for the most part – there was no reason we could not get pregnant and carry a baby to term. Try again.
We got pregnant June 2011 – when we figured this out a month later, the monitoring, worry, and major blood work really began. I decided to go back to the doctor who delivered Owen and I am so glad that I did. This group of doctors in Owasso are rock stars. In short, they cared enough to roll up their sleeves and monitor me closely so we could get to a place of safety, a place we could breathe again. The goal … 20 weeks. During the every week appointments and blood work we found out what happened – it turns out that my progesterone level plummets and cannot support a pregnancy. Since progesterone levels are not something they typically monitor, it easily slipped through the cracks. I was told the first one (because of how early it was) really was bad luck, but that the second was more than likely a direct result of my progesterone levels. The solution was a simple fix; a tiny pill that allowed me to keep my progesterone level where it needed to be until the placenta effectively could take over. I am now 24 weeks pregnant and I am looking forward to meeting my 3rd son. The time of thanksgiving has begun.